Thursday, April 28, 2011

Neurobiology of the Teen Brain

Last night I attended an outstanding lecture/discussion about the development of the Teen Brain by Kathryn Yamartino Ed. M., Psy D. from North Bridge Psychological Associates.  The event was hosted by the Bedford Youth & Family Services (a superb resource for referrals and parents programs).

Dr. Yamartino talked about the neurological and psychological development of the Teen Brain.  She used an excellent and simplified example of brain function developed by Dan Siegal:


This is a great visual memonic for helping parents to understand what happens, not just with their kids and teens, but with themselves when their emotions override their logic, flexibility, empathy and even their morality.

Dr. Yamartino explained how the Prefrontal Cortex, which is responsible for the above abilities (and more) is still being developed in teens all the way up to their mid 20's.  Meanwhile the Brain Stem and Limbic System, which are responsible for their emotions and threat response (fight, flight and freeze) are in full force due to the high levels of hormones which make this part of the system highly efficient.

The power of the Limbic System is a major factor in why teens will do things that don't seem rational... or why their emotions may seem erratic and extreme.  It's all part of their natural development. 

Some of the excellent recommendations that Dr. Yamartino discussed:
  1. Validate your teen's emotions.  Don't worry about fixing the problem or giving advice - you have time to do that later, if necessary.  Often, the process of validating their feelings is enough to make the situation manageable for them.  So take a moment to empathize with your teen before anything else.  Ask questions.  If the situation isn't dangerous, don't worry if you don't fully understand - that's less important than caring about how they feel.  If they say something is "terrible", then realize that it IS terrible for them.  Telling them that it isn't as bad as it seems will only cause them to feel like they aren't being understood.
  2. Empathize but don't claim their feelings.  Sometimes parents can take on the emotions of their teen and get worked up or even more upset than their child.  Try to allow and support your teen in their emotional place without taking on those emotions as your own.  Sometimes the act of claiming a teen's feelings can make them feel anxious about sharing their feelings with a their parent because they can become worried about the parent getting upset.
  3. Apologize if you overreact.  Being a "Consistent Parent" does not mean never admitting you're wrong.  If you "flip your lid" and say something hurtful or state an imulisve punishment that seems harsh, take some time to calm down and re-consider your intentions.  Then go back, apologize and establish consequences that seem more in line with the offense.  Just because you said something in the heat of the moment does not mean you have to enforce it to remain "consistent".  You are human and you make mistakes.  Just like your teen.
That's just a summary of some of the excellent information that was discussed at this lecture.  Personally, I enjoyed talking about the concepts of brain development with my own teens.  They find biology fascinating and having words of explanation (what I like to call "handles") on why they may feel a certain way is helpful to them and to myself.

Most importantly, it's good to know that teens who do things that make us go "huh?" are being perfectly, wonderfully, normal teens.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Facebook and Depression

Here is a short, but insightful, interview with Dr. Sharon Chirban about teens, Facebook and depression:




Some of the key concepts covered here:
  1. Facebook does not cause depression... but it can amplify the feeling for those teens who already have vulnerable self esteem.
  2. Teens are predisposed to focusing on select pieces of information.  Facebook provides limited snapshots of their friends' lives and so it can cause a higher level of self comparison and a feeling of "not measuring up".
  3. Teens who are finding it difficult to maintain longer term frienships may use Facebook as a way to try to become accepted into a social group.  The positive aspect of this is that Facebook can facilitate this by revealing or reinforcing commonalities.  The negative is that it may cause a teen to feel "everyone has friends except me".
  4. Active parenting is necessary to help coach teens towards beneficial relationships.  There are filters that permit a parent to "friend" their teen and yet limit the parent's ability to interact with the teen in that environment - which can help a teen feel more comfortable with a parent's presence in their list of Facebook friends.
This last point is one that I cover in my "Parent Talk: Unplugging Your Child" lecture which helps parents understand the importance of coaching their children and teens in the safe and appropriate use of technology.

Parenting seems to only get more complex.  It's not enough to just talk about drugs, alcohol and sex.  Now we need to teach them about how to use technology in a way that benefits their personal growth... and to be aware of the risks and possible negative impact from over reliance and misuse.

As parents, we want to keep abreast of the changing media and how it poses new challenges to our children and ourselves.  This requires us to stay in tune with what technology our kids are using, how they use it, and how it can influence their feelings and development.

If you suspect that your child is suffering from depression, anxiety or other emotions that inhibit their well being, talk to a specialist.  They can help you determine the best course of action to help your child.


Meghan Gardner
Director
Guard Up, Inc.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

The "Un-Sport" Child

If you spend time around children, you will inevitably discover the "Un-Sport" child.  This is the child who does not enjoy traditional sports.  Or, they enjoy them for a short time, and then seem to lose interest.  This is different than the child who prefers individual sports over team sports... but that's another topic.

Chances are good that this child would rather spend their time reading a book (usually fantasy, sci-fi or historical fiction), watch a movie/YouTube video or play a computer/video game.  Often, they are talented writers or artists - even if they prefer not to share their results with their parents or siblings. They are fascinated by things with which parents and teachers may have a hard time connecting.  They often love Anime (Japanese Animation), graphic novels, games of various types, and they have a superb sense of creative strategy.

Perhaps one of your children is an "Un-Sport" child. Do you wish they would be more interested in activities that involve exercise and live interaction with groups of people?  Likely you do... because those two attributes are absolutely necessary for the healthy development of any youth.

If it helps, you are not alone.  There are very good reasons why your child isn't interested in traditional sports.  It has to do with that elevated level of creativity and a desire for limitless possibilities that drives them.  They don't like singular end results (get the ball into the basket or across the field).  They don't like uniforms that make everyone look like everyone else.  They don't want to be told that there is only one way to do something and be considered odd for wanting to try something different.  They are bored with routine practice where they are commanded to do a drill they have no interest in because it leaves no room for free experimentation.

This is not a problem child.  This is a child who craves the ability to explore... the stimulation of a variety of possibilities (perhaps some no one else has ever thought of)... a real sign of tangible progress towards their goal... and a sense of belonging to something larger than themselves without having to sacrifice themselves.

You won't find these attributes in many activities nowadays.  School is about fitting a standard test.  Even classes about science, the single most Discovery Based career your could choose, is about memorizing formulas and so-called "experiments" that don't make the grade if they don't achieve a predetermined outcome. 

Most organized sports are all about winning the next point.  The team usually has star athletes who get most of the attention and awards.  The structure and methods are all about doing what everyone else is doing and staying within your defined roll. 

The message endorsed by the above activities:  If you don't win or fit the standard, you aren't talented or smart.

So how do you engage these Un-Sport children?  Find an activity that allows for creative outcomes and allows for individual expression.  These kinds of activities often involve stories (which tap that creative need as well as allowing them to feel like they are part of something larger than themselves).  If your child is interested in Historical Fiction, bring them to an historical reenactment.  Encourage them to join a program where they participate in re-enacting the past.  Here, they will shine as their knowledge of the past can be used to create their character and define their objectives.

If your child is interested in Science Fiction or Fantasy, encourage them to try Live Action Role Playing... where participants can engage in NERF type battles with foam swords or blasters while playing a character in an interactive and dynamic storyline.  These activities can actually simulate a computer game environment closely - except that they are running around and being physically active while socializing in a face-to-face environment.

Some other physical activities/sports that allow for personal expression include Skateboarding, Non-Traditional Dance, Drumming, Rock Climbing, BMX, Mixed Martial Arts (as opposed to Traditional Martial Arts), Snowboarding and more.  Notice that these activities are considered "Non-Traditional".

The key is that the activity must allow this child the freedom to experiment and provide an outlet for imagination or at least expression.

As a parent of this type of child, you may have to step outside your comfort zone.  The sports that they are interested in might be adrenalized and somewhat dangerous.  As a parent, you can research how to allow your child to participate in a safe manner.

Role playing activities may seem outlandish... thanks, in part, to the way popular media has portrayed them in a shallow light and labeled them as "geek" or "nerd" activities.  But the truth is, these activities are outstanding for developing social awareness (empathy), negotiation (compromise) and communication skills, as well as providing an outlet for self expression and imagination. 

The Un-Sport child needs to have the freedom to exercise and express their mind if they are going to be truly engaged in an activity.  This is not a reason for concern.  This is a sign of a highly intelligent and creative individual.  Help them find an outlet for their imagination and enroll them in activities that keep them physically and  face-to-face socially engaged, and they will thrive and grow to be healthy, productive and HAPPY adults.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

How we do what we do...

Note: The terms "Left Brain" and "Right Brain" are used in this commentary to explain skill sets that predominately incorporate the appropriate side of the brain. In truth, almost all skill sets use both sides of the brain to some degree.

In modern formal education, much of the focus is on "measurable results". As such, most of the material taught is methodical, formulaic and with specific answers that can be standardized and compared. Logic and factual data are the foundation of this measurable knowledge. This is a very Left Brain model.

We need Left Brain education. Without it, we would be reinventing the wheel. However, the flaw in the current system is that it is terribly lopsided toward the Left Brain model. The Right Brain attributes - creativity, big picture comprehension, emotional intelligence, inspirational communication and other less easily measured (and definitely non-standard) types of knowledge - are given far less focus and energy. This is unfortunate... because the brightest problem solvers and most influential thinkers of our time are people who tend to have very strong skills in both sides of the brain.

At Guard Up, we sometimes hear of parents who withdraw their children from our story-based classes - or who prefer to enroll them in "more structured" classes such as Fencing - because they view the story-based classes as "just play". The truth is that our story-based classes are providing children and teens with a much needed Right Brain supplement to their predominately Left Brain education. Along with exposing students and campers to extremely important skill sets such as innovation, exploration and communication, our programs also provide a dynamic environment where participants stay physically active and sharpen their social skills (not to mention make friends!).

In today's society, where kids and teens are inundated with screens (TV, computer, telephone, etc) and many children's social development is focused on Facebook and online games, getting kids and young adults "unplugged" from the screen and engaging in live, dynamic play where they need to use important skills such as reading body language, receiving and providing constructive feedback, active listening, creative problem solving, working within a group, and more, is vital to the development of a modern youth who has been born with the label of "Digital Native".

At the Guard Up After School Program, kids have time to work on their school homework with the assistance of an adult - and then they are taken on an adventure where they get to exercise the other side of their brain. Too often, play time is seen as a waste of time in a society where Left Brain thinking dominates our educational system. This is an important acknowledgement as we see more and more systematized, linear logic careers being outsourced to other countries. This will continue to progress until the shift in our economy (and hopefully our education) makes us realize that our greatest resource is the well-balanced individual who has been given as much educational opportunity to develop their creative side as their logical side.

At Guard Up, we have developed a focus on three important skill sets in our story-based classes, camps and after school programs:
  1. Innovation: Creative problem solving, design, imagination
  2. Exploration: Discovery, experimentation, dynamic open-ended questioning
  3. Communication: Connecting with other people, establishing understanding with the self and others, developing empathy

The power of interactive stories, that do not have a pre-determined ending, is that our tool (the story) can be shaped to the group or individual as necessary. We provide an immersive environment with props and costuming. This helps engage the participant on an emotional level (aiding in stronger development of neurological pathways) and increases the memory retention of the learning experience.

Our staff and counselors are trained on a recurring basis in improvisational methods as well as appropriate content. As well, weekly mandatory meetings keep our program instructors current on the latest in teaching methodology, child psychology and event management skills.

We invest a great deal of time and effort into our programs. We strive to engage our students in a manner that is often neglected in current education and sorely underrepresented in modern day entertainment: We want to capture as much of their imagination as possible... and have them find exciting possibilities through their imagination.

This, I believe, is worth our effort and our parents' commitment.

Meghan Gardner
Director
Guard Up, Inc.

Suggested Reading:
  1. A Whole New Mind by Daniel H. Pink
  2. Play: How It Shapes the Brain by Dr. Stuart Brown
  3. The Brain That Changes Itself by Dr. Norman Doidge